My friend Roxie and I were deadset to get a mani-pedi yesterday because she has an interview this week and I…have been gnawing at my fingers like there’s crack embedded into the nailbeds. This being Boston, the most Puritanical city in America, a lot of places are closed on Sundays. Luckily for us, Fantasy Nails was open.

Upon my entrance, I picked two colors from the wall of rainbow pinks, and was ushered to a pedicure chair where I quickly shed my knee-high snowboots and wool socks. As I sat down, the grandmother of the place turned on my vibrating chair and filled up the foot soak.

a.) I have no idea when the trend of vibrating chairs + pedicures started, but they go hand-in-hand these days. I am simultaneously thankful and a little weirded out. Mostly because this particular vibrating chair had a separate button for “seat vibration.” Yes, I tried it. And yes, I liked it.

b.) To every pedicurist I’ll ever see — I take showers so hot our smoke alarm goes off from the steam. Showers so hot I look like I have first-degree sunburn. Showers so hot I almost break the knob trying to get it hotter. So no, the water isn’t too hot.

Roxie and I somehow manage to get male pedicurists wherever we go. Not that they care any more or less about our hairy legs and cinderblock feet than a woman does (or so we hope), but it just somehow seems a little bit odd. And yesterday was no exception.

The two men who fixed us up were…well…they were like Asian Urkels. Sometimes I look at hipsters and think, “Wait, is that an Urban Outfitter nerd? Or are they really just out-of-fashion nerds?” Then I’ll catch sight of their Ray Ban sunglasses or an ironic tshirt under their plaid shirt and realize I’ve been duped again by an imposter. To clarify, these two guys were not hipsters.

As my vibrating chair prepared for liftoff, my dude got to work. Let me just state, I keep my toenails shorter than a lot of chicks. And I own and use a pumice stone to keep my feet soft. Yet…this dude took an hour just to prepare my feet for the polish. I had no idea my toes even have cuticles until this guy spent 20 minutes cutting them.

After 30 minutes, Roxie’s pedicurist (who randomly grunted and moaned) jumped up, grabbed the remote control, and turned on the TV. I was thinking this guy was going to watch “The View,” something on the “Lifetime” network, or reruns of “Grey’s Anatomy.” So you can imagine my surprise when Roxie and I simultaneously looked up to see a bullriding championship.

As my friend Justin would say, “Buh?”

The dirtiest, grittiest, redneck sport there is, and it’s the sport of choice for two nerdy Asian boys. We watched that for 15 minutes before he changed the channel to…the Celtics game.

As Justin would say, “Guh?” It just didn’t make sense.

Later, as I was getting my manicure, Roxie and I were chatting when her manicurist jumped up again and changed the channel to…professional men’s iceskating.

Andddddddddddddddd there it is. Apparently the bullriding championship was on the same channel and the time slot was directly in front of the iceskating.

Anyway, good times. I particularly liked the hatch in the floor where grandma went halfway through my mani-pedi to heat up some leftover food.