High School Hierarchy

When people ask about what my high school was like, often I start with, "Have you ever seen 'Varsity Blues'?" If so, then people know where I'm going with this. If not, let me educate you.

My graduating class was about 350. I thought this was huge until Spank, my college roommate, told me she graduated with a class of 800. With 350 kids, you recognize faces, you know most people's names, their siblings, what sports they play, and economic status. You also inherently know if they are "cool." And not just "cool" but what level of cool they are.

"A" Group
More commonly known as the elite group, this was who everyone aspired to be, yet simultaneously abhorred. They were cool because...they simply existed. Some people in this group, like Katie, had it all. She had perfect hair, perfect body, and perfect teeth, and to top it all off, she was the head cheerleader, the star field hockey player, AND the salutatorian. She was annoyingly perfect. But, like all the elites, she gave off the air that she didn't CARE if she were popular. She just WAS. Strangely, these kids were equally noted to be in the Honors Society, the head cheerleaders, star quarterbacks, and star wrestlers (or 'wrastlers' as some said), and yet also the biggest drug users. I would say about 10 out of 350 kids were in the A Group.

This was the group Harve and I longed to be in, but spent 4 years hiding from, blushing in front of, and feeling genuinely uneasy around. We wanted to be cool, but there was NO WAY we could've fit into this group. This is the Ferris Bueller of popularity. You don't think about having a party at your house or worrying about your parents finding out, you just DO IT. And Harve and I would've been too nervous, not confident enough, to ever fit in here.

Strangely enough, both Harve's siblings were in this group. I was fortunate, in that my sister had dropped out of the popularity race and went the opposite direction by joining up with the hippie commune. My brother was more of an unknown. From what I could gather, he either flew under the radar, or ended up in the same ranks that I did.

"B" Group
This was about 1/4 of the student body. Most of the football team and the rest of the cheerleaders were in this group. Hence, Varsity Blues. Thank you high school athletic stereotypes.

The rest of the kids in this group were popular, but because they worked at it, not because it came naturally. And that's what made them so sad. This group was what teen movies are made of. They would throw you under the bus if it meant they'd elevate themselves to the A Group or even just to secure their position in the B Group. These kids could be peer pressured into anything -- drugs, alcohol, sex, class uprisings, cheating, etc. -- just to seem cooler.

On one hand, Harve and I wanted to be cool. But, on the other hand, we never would've sold ourselves to the devil JUST to be cool. We were too scared and genuinely good to maliciously start rumors or talk back to teachers.

About 100-150 kids were in the B Group.

"C" Group
 If things had been different, I could've seen Harve and I in this group. In fact, Deege managed to get there as well as about half our other friends. This was the group who had a good time, maybe got invited to parties "under the bridge", but didn't care too much about whether or not they were popular. These kids played sports like soccer, tennis, field hockey, baseball, and anything else that failed to bring money into the school.

This was also the drama club kids and some of the cooler band nerds who actually had their own bands and would play at local coffee houses. These kids also had the magic ability to float between class systems, blending magically with the popular jocks and the meek nerds like myself.

This left 2 groups.

"D" Group
For the rest of the band nerds, anyone in FFA (Future Farmers of America), the Goths. For example, if you were a Mathlete, you'd be in the D Group. And we'd welcome you because frankly, we'd enjoy the company of a fellow nerd.

I remember football games where Harve and I would march out onto the field past the student section (a smattering of A, mostly B, and a smattering of C) and say under our breath, "yesss we know, we're giant nerds, just please ignore us, just pretend we are not clad in heavy polyester with giant feather plumes walking past you" but we always felt people staring at us, their eyes a mixture of pity, wonder, and embarrassment.

Ok, maybe the student section was blindingly drunk and not staring at us like that, but it FELT that way.

And finally there was the "F" Group. These were the special ed. kids and the 16 year old pregnant girls.

The funny thing is that when I think back on my braces, my hand-me-down clothing from my sister (a good 3 inches taller than me), my constant state of embarrassment, I picture Fern Mayo from the movie Jawbreaker:

and I am relieved that I never have to go through high school again.

Recently I was talking about high school with a friend I met 3 years ago, and she said, "Heidi, I bet you were so popular, you were probably a cheerleader in high school." It made me laugh so hard to think of where I used to be and how far I'd come and that now, 18 years later, I finally had the confidence I so sorely lacked as a 14-year-old.

I like to think maybe I'd be in that elite group now, not because I care about which group I could qualify for, but more importantly that finally, after all these years, I care so little about it.

Also, because I'm still afraid of having parties at my parents' house.